Daily News Roundup 2012: Wednesday 16 May

Good morning

The headlines:

1. The Greek President proposes a government of non-politicians after failing to form a government of useless/unpopular politicians. If the kids (read: "brats") can't agree on an interim government now (until the new round of elections next month), the mandate gets handed to either a Council of State or the Supreme Court. First off, I'd like to express amazement at how complicated the Greek political system is. Secondly, I'd like to express amazement at how prepared the Greek constitution/electoral law is for just such an eventuality. Thirdly, I'd like to express amazement by asking "have you ever in your life?" A government of non-politicians sounds like a military junta (who are undoubtedly waiting in the wings). Frankly - a military coup might be the cleanest thing here. Instant suspension from the EU. Boom. Link: Useless.
2. The Greeks are running the banks. And so it starts. For anyone that has been wondering how Greece leaving the euro will play out, it starts with the pitter-patter of Greek sandals running out the bank doors with all their money in (euro) cash to be stuffed in a mattress and planted in the fields. The Central Bank head, George Provopoulos (Greece has a Central Bank?!) has approached the president (who appears to be nought but an ineffective figurehead that has no political significance whatsover - is he a king?! Democracy, my proverbial posterior) with a "small problem, sir": that he describes as "great fear" that isn't yet, but could quickly become, "panic". He also, apparently, has a talent for understating the obvious. Link: No need to panic, sir, because it's not "panic" yet. Try "manic", you goon.
3. On the other hand, Greece is going to repay the 435 million euros that fell due yesterday. Link: That's what they're saying now!
4. Finally, in news that's not Greece-related, the US Department of Justice is about to start a criminal probe into the JPM $2 billion loss. But I thought that this was all just an "egregious error"! Sigh. And Jamie Dimon has tried so hard to self-flaggelate his way into public sympathy. But question: I'm just not sure how criminal a case you can make. Because, well, mistakes (even egregious ones) happen. And that's just, like, life in the Investment Banking world. Pass your Volked-up Rule first, DOJ, and then you can probe away usefully. Rather than engaging in (what appears to be) a PR exercise that spends lots of money that you don't have. Now that's egregious. I believe Warren Buffet calls this "throwing good (borrowed) money after bad"? Link: The DOJ wants to probe JPM.
5. Apple is releasing a new Macbook that looks even more awesome. Unlike the Wozniak, I would sell Facebook shares at any price to buy it. Link: Thinner, Lighter, Faster.

That's all for now!

Have a good day.